Signs of Infidelity

Even thinking that your spouse may be cheating is a painful and difficult problem. Unfortunately, if you have a suspicion that your spouse is unfaithful, you may be right -- according to statistics, 22 percent of married men and 14 percent of married women have been unfaithful. Famed therapist Peggy Vaugn's research has suggested that the numbers are even higher -- her independent studies have found that approximately 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will cheat at least once in their marriage. Despite the prevalence of affairs, though, 70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men do not know about their spouse's unfaithfulness.

Sadly, if you suspect, the answer very likely is "yes." Experts on marital problems admit that instinct seems to be the very best indicator of an affair. Studies have confirmed it, showing that 85 percent of women and 50 percent of men who suspected that their partner was cheating were ultimately shown to be correct. If you think an affair is affecting your relationship, you may also notice:

• Your spouse seems bored. Bored with you, with job, with kids, with hobbies, with life in general.
• Your spouse seems to want danger or thrills in his/her life.
• There is considerably less intimacy in your relationship. Your sex life is practically non-existent.
• Your spouse has a low self-esteem.
• You notice your spouse has a sense of confusion about self.
• You spouse has become lazy, especially around the house.
• You can't get your spouse to communicate with you.
• Your spouse gets very defensive if you mention infidelity or affairs.
• Your spouse is suddenly more attentive than usual.
• Your mate is working longer hours at work.
• Your spouse is dressing nicer, looking nicer.
• You notice charges on credit card statement that don't make sense.
• Your spouse is indifferent to family events like birthdays and holidays.
• You find your partner has been lying to you about a variety of things.
• Money becomes more of an issue between the two of you.
• He/she doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything with you anymore.
• You can't even get your mate to fight with you.
• You feel as if you are being avoided.
• Your partner abandons religious faith.
• Your spouse seems more secretive.